i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
