so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Buhtt sex?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
