Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
