just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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