i already hear my dad disowning me
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
