hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize