hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
