so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
