bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
