I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize