I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
