I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
