My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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