Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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