The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
