Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
