Don't you send me to vm
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
