My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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