it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
