her vagine was all disorganized.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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