If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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