Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
