We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
