Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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