I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
