Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
well you can't waste a boner
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
