Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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