dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize