When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
