Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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