I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
