He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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