i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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