great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Randomize
