DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize