we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
