Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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