you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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