Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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