Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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