Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
