Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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