Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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