So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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