went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
