You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
