I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
