I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
