He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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