I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
