You work out of a Hotel?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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