If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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