I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
