Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
nutella sex= disaster
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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