no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
