She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
