Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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