please come you make the beer taste better
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize