Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
