would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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