She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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