I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
