I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
