Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
